| the running man is attacking e v e r y s i n g l e o b s t a c l e. |
[14 Jun 2005|09:00am] |
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music |
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television. |
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well, i'm in south carolina. got here on sunday. yesterday me and amber hung out for a few hours. that was fun.
i also got in touch with bryce, and supposedly we're going to hang out sometime.
kristen still isn't back from her church thing.
kate, however, did come back from her church thing. i need to call her and see how she's doing.
i'm watching nickelodeon GAS (games &&sports). does anyone watch that channel? they show old nickelodeon game shows. it's pretty fun. lol. i don't like "guts" though. never have ... never will. i love "figure it out". that was a great show.
oh yea, so i'm running everyday now. i'm not really on a diet. just going with the whole "eat less, excercise more" kinda thing. hoping to lose at least one pound a week for a month. right now i'm at 118. so ... yea.
hope everyone is having a nice summer.
s-xo.
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[06 Jun 2005|10:14pm] |
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mood |
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 starving. |
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music |
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"you're moderately attractive" = stelliot. |
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well. i got a haircut. and i got second piercings in both my ears. awesome.
florence is five days away. whatamidoing.
that was a rhetorical questions ... don't answer.
ummm. i feel so distant from kris right now.
isn't life funny? one minute ... you're in love, and the next ... you aren't sure if it was real, or some kind of beautiful dream.
so, kristen thinks me and bryce will --once again-- get together. she says i "have a shot".
it's so sad how bad i want it.
i'd rather be with adam though. he wouldn't fuck me over like bryce would.
argh. goodnight.
s-xo.
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| does anyone remember laughter? ... |
[30 May 2005|08:46pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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"the ghost" = umbrellas. |
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so sometimes ... people can make you feel amazing. because they are amazing. other times those people can let you down. because you start depending on them to always uplift you ... &sometimes they just can't.
i hate how i make everything all about me lately. it isn't about me ... &i just wish i could get over everything and let it go. but i can't.
and it's driving me insane.
do you really want to hear this?
( Read more... )
it's nice to reflect on the good and bad every now and again.
it helps put things into perspective.
goonight.
S-xo.
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| things are looking up. |
[22 May 2005|09:26pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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michael alig and his slurred speech. |
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so today was nice. woke up at 10:30 and went running. it was tough today for some reason, but i got through it.
i also went swimming for the first time in the pool. it's still pretty chilly so we heated the water. it got to 94 degrees. ahh, so nice.
last day of school is thursday. very exciting. both wednesday and thursday are only half days though.
i leave for south carolina the second weekend in june. i can't wait, and i'm so happy that i have people waiting for me there. i've missed them all so much.
( Read more... )
i guess that's it. for once i don't have anything to complain about.
well, ..... nevermind. not going to get into that.
s-xo.
"every couple nights or so, you know you pop into my dreams. i just can't get rid of you, like you got rid of me" -ben folds five.
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| stolen survery... |
[14 May 2005|10:59pm] |
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mood |
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eh. |
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music |
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the dresden dolls. |
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three names you go by:
1. sumner.
2. sumy-sum.
3. avril.
three screen names you have
1. copulationandcandy
2. tears_go_by
3. my_disturbing_fires
three physical things you like about yourself
1. eyes.
2. i'm not really...
3. ...pleased with my appearance.
three physical things you don't like about yourself
1. weight.
2. i hate my stomach.
3. my ass.
three parts of your heritage
1. english.
2. german.
3. american...?
three things that scare you
1. losing my loved ones.
2. some insects...most insects. lol.
3. dying painfully.
three of your everyday essentials
1. music, naturally.
2. eyeliner.
3. a confidant.
three things you are wearing right now
1. glasses.
2. old, baggy shirt.
3. boxers what are wayy to big for me.
three of your favorite bands or musical artists (right now)
1. The Distillers
2. Hole
3. No Doubt
three of your favorite songs
1. "Iris" - The Goo Goo Dolls
2. "Pretty In Pink" - The Psychedelic Furs
3. "Take Me to the Club" - Mannequin
three things you want in a relationship:
1. love.
2. honesty.
3. trust.
two truths and a lie
1. i have an eating disorder.
2. i cause my own scars.
3. i drink for comfort.
three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you
1. hands.
2. mouth.
3. eyes.
three of your favorite hobbies
1. listening to music.
2. taking photographs.
3. going to concerts.
three things you want to do really badly right now
1. see kris.
2. go out.
3. puke.
three careers you're considering
1. chef.
2. photographer (possibly for fashion).
3. actress?
three places you want to go on vacation
1. unfortunately...miami.
2. london.
3. new york.
three names you want for your kids
1. PennyLane.
2. Roxy.
3. Sapphire.
three things you want to do before you die
1. marry kris.
2. meet mary-kate olsen.
3. get happy...and stay happy.
three ways that you are stereotypically a boy
1. i think about sex more often than not.
2. i wear baggy pants...?
3. um. i think most girls are prettier to look at than to talk to.
thee ways that you are stereotypically a chick
1. i like boys.
2. i wear make-up.
3. i like fashion.
thee celeb crushes
1. Judd Nelson
2. Patrick Fugit
3. Mary-kate Olsen ,lol.
three people that i would like to see take this are
1. kris.
2. adri.
3. jason.
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| Had to post it... |
[08 May 2005|12:32pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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The New Guy Soundtrack |
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stole this from bobbie...thought what it gave me was pretty damn funny. had to post.
s-xo.
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| I'm going to let it go, and pretend like I didn't care in the first place... |
[27 Apr 2005|08:38pm] |
"You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy."
-Mike Damone "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"
Wow. I have not written in a month. Myspace has taken over.
I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of easily trusting people, and then getting hurt by them. I'm tired of trying to find a good relationship that doesn't make me have to put up with shit. I'm tired of people and all of their unimportant and idiotic problems....
everything.
I want to be like loved. Loved by someone that doesn't live four hours away. Someone who I can see at least on a weekly basis.
I miss being able to talk to Bobbie. I have pent-up emotions, and she's really the only person I confide in. I know she'll give me her honest opinion, and I know that most of what I tell her stays with her.
anyway...
I like you. You know that I do, and I want you to feel the same way back. I don't want to feel like I have to win your affection, and I don't want to be jealous. But I am. I'm scared at what may lie ahead from what you've told me, and I'm afraid to get close to you.
I just want everything to happen, and work out nicely...although everyone knows it'll never happen that way.
"But still in the back of your mind, you've got something to believe in, but there's so much to find, as the bright lights dim, and the night closes in, you thought everything was ending, but it's yet to begin..." -Pat Benatar
I'm done.
S-xo.
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| Running from the stars... |
[27 Mar 2005|01:01pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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Nothing. |
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Rebecca:"This is so bad it's almost good."
Enid:"This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again."
-"Ghost World"
Well yesterday we came back. It was a long ride, but we made it.
Today is easter...HAPPY EASTER. Yeah, I got a lot of candy...and the first season of the brady bunch on dvd. awesome.
I might get to see Mike tomorrow! I've missed him. It's weird...but yea, I have.
I want to go to the movies with Kate though also...so it may turn out that I have to pick one or the other, which would really suck. But perhaps the parentals will be nice and trustworthy and allow me, mike, and kate to all go to the movies together. I doubt it, but it's worth a shot...
"One of these days I'll get my revenge, my friend Ming Tran'll kick you right in the face." --Gob
S-xo.
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| "...all the fairy dust I breathe is doing nothing to relieve this strife..." |
[25 Mar 2005|08:40pm] |
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mood |
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upset. |
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music |
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TV: The Howard Stern Show |
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"Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion."
-Randy, "Sixteen Candles"
I was spoiled today...
We had an "easter egg hunt" and I got some prizes! lol...great stuff.
I got some purple mascara, some black&metallic mascara, black eyeliner, a heart keychain, a cool heart necklace, a picture frame, two packs of multi-colored nail polish, a robe(sp?), a wrist thinger that has an 'S' on it, umm and some other things I can't remember. Yea...
Kristen came and picked me up today. She wanted to get a bathing suit so we went to old navy...they didn't have one she liked, so we went to belk...but she couldn't use her dad's credit card there, so finally we went to target (and I saw some freaking awesome sunglasses, didn't get'em though) and she got one. We barely even talked. When we did, it was something about her. Which is fine, but when I tried to talk she either didn't listen, or cut me off. Why?...I don't know. But that's the way it went down.
By the way...white people talking like black people to make fun of them...isn't funny, cute or clever. Get over it.
Oh! I did go to books-a-million and got another book today "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". Haven't started it yet.
Picture! (again):
It's my awesome shirt. Be jealous.
"Ir's different than before, you don't listen anymore. You're impatient, you're inflated, and I know you won't stop 'til you're full." --Gob
Night.
S-xo.
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| Peaches and Homegrown Heartache... |
[25 Mar 2005|09:43am] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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TV: Live with Regis and Kelly |
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"You'll love me, I promise."
-Michael Alig, "Party Monster"
Went to the mall yesterday. Didn't get anything.
Kristen came by and picked me up. We went to office depot. I saw Johnnie. We then road around for awhile, and she took me home. We spent altogether, maybe fourty-five minutes together...she didn't seem too heartbroken. But, we may do something tonight. I kind of hate to because it's my last night (for this time) here. But, I really would like to just kind of hang out for an hour or so.
Another picture! This was taken on Sunday at my aunt and uncles house...I think it's so beautiful and quiet there. I love it:
"...now you're crushing like cement 'til you find your perfect fit to stand out from the rest to shine on you; the best. Well we all fall down, is it better now or are you still broken? --Gob.
S-xo.
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| Eat your heart out, before it gets hurt... |
[23 Mar 2005|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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Sihft-D |
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"If you give off signals that you don't want to belong, people will make sure that you don't."
-Principle, "Pretty in Pink"
Well, today we went to Myrtle Beach. To the mall at Myrtle Beach, not the actual beach.
I got new pants that were marked down dirt cheap. They're black and comfy...I like'em.
Also got a "punk-o-rama" CD or something like that. It had some good bands on it, and was also marked downdirt cheap, so I was compelled to get it.
Two more days. No one cares.
I miss my boyfriend. I bet he's not even thinking about me.
Shit, I am just wallowing in self-pity tonight, aren't I? Yea...stopping this now.
Heres a pic from Saturday...in the car on the way to SC:
"You're a soft head, you think I'm a motormouth, but I never say a word I don't hold dear to me..." --Gob.
S-xo.
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| "The dreams that fall beneath my feet, make my footsteps feel so sweet..." |
[23 Mar 2005|07:34am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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Gob |
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"And will we ever end up together? No, I think not. It's never to become, for I am not the one."
-Sally, NBC
Well yesterday was very pruductive also!
We (the family and I) went to the mall here in Florence...
I went to Sears and got an awesome new CD player. I'm in love with it, it's gorgeous. Then I got an awesome new ring (Bobbie, I think you'd like love it too), an Edward Scissorhands shirt that's lovely, and some earrings that are pretty cool. Next stop was best buy and I got Gob's latest "Foot in Mouth Disease" and a 'best of' Pat Benetar CD. Their both awesome.
I saw Bryce's girlfriend in hot topic. I also saw his...bassist(?) in best buy. Hm...
I'll post a couple of pics later...
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| Looking to be saved... |
[21 Mar 2005|11:48pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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News--getting sick of terri and her damn feeding tube |
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"The next screw that falls out will be you."
-'The Breakfast Club'
Well, today was productive. I went to toys r us and got a stuffed rabbit. He's black and white and I have decided to call him Mr. Hop-a-lot. Indeed.
Also went to this bookstore and got an edgar allan poe bookmark and a book ("Generation: S.L.U.T.")
So far it's really interesting, a lot of statistics about 'our' generation and 'our' sex lives. good stuff.
My great-grandmother came along on my expeditions today. When we were coming home, as she got out of the car she fell down. Scraped up her face pretty bad. It made me really upset, which sounds weird, but I don't know...
It affected me in a weird way.
More than likely because, for the first time, I'm watching someone sort of deteriorate right before my eyes. I mean, she's really going downhill. My other great-grandmother (that's already passed away) was the same way, but I was younger then and her presence was more of a nuisance than anything. This time it's different, and it's bothering me.
Why am I writing this...?
"...I have a feeling every form of media is fucking with our heads and filling us full of shit..." --Gob
Night
s-xoxo.
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| Pixie Dust and Heartburn... |
[21 Mar 2005|12:46am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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The movie: "A League of Their Own" |
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"The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."
-Lester Bangs, 'Almost Famous'
Hm, well. At this point in time I am in a place where my best and my worst shake hands in fellowship. I scream in torment while singing in ecstacy. And I give ignorant love to people who barely wish to speak to me.
And slowly but surely I'm letting this place go.
Because I realize I have to.
Moving on...
I have created a livejournal, which in time will slowly get better and better (hopefully...). Yes indeed.
I'm done for now; goodnight.
S-xoxo.
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tears_go_by's journal